By Justin Atkinson, 08 April 2023
I somehow convinced Herbert, Tommy and Alex to join me on a trip to Waiorongomai hut in the Remutakas over Easter wknd. I had one simple request for the group: to waltz all the way to the hut. Failing this, trip membership would be voided, and a long walk back to Wellington would ensue (except for Tommy, it would only be a brisk stroll!).
We set off towards Featherston, going full speed. To prepare ourselves for the non-stop waltzing extravaganza, we got into the zone with some classical music on the radio. This only happened after I tried and failed for 30 mins to make the car bluetooth work, which ended in me feeling very carsick. At Featherston, we took the very first right. 20 mins later we arrived at the carpark. We stretched our legs and prepped our gear. There was only one other car, making us hopeful for a spot in the 4 bunk hut.
We crossed through bush for two minutes, before emerging onto the Waiorongomai river. Now I wish I could say that I enforced my initial requirement of waltzing up the track, but unfortunately I forgot to give myself immunity in the initial plan. To save myself, I decided to make the trip more relaxed. We worked our way up the riverbed for 45 mins, making quite a few crossings, but nothing deeper than knee height. The weather was decent, even though the advance forecast showed a bit of rain and wind.
The track eventually left the river and entered the forest. We entered and exited the river a few more times, making our way to the hut with good time. There were several steep sections with ropes tied to trees or rocks. A couple of these ropes were, how do I put it nicely, of fairly dodgy quality. We improved a couple of knots along the way, but it was still a bit sketchy overall.
We eventually reached the hut about 2pm, having taken 1h 40min from the carpark. We were greeted by two hunters, which was slightly concerning at first if you've ever had the pleasure of meeting grumpy hunters in the bush. Luckily these two were the friendly type, and we had some good chats with them that day. A lot of talk about meat in particular. The best and worst cuts of meat, wild vs store bought meat, what makes a good sausage, the politics of meat... you name it. We were later joined in the evening by another hunter, who was also easy going.
Now you might think that we would have spent the rest of the day relaxing at the hut, since the trip was supposed to be chill. If you're thinking this, you've forgotten that Tommy was on the trip! He forced us onto a long sidetrip to the nearby Waiorongomai saddle, which we totally enjoyed bush bashing our way onto. How could you not enjoy clambering up a steep and uneven hill full of annoying roots and stingy plants, it's so much fun! To be fair I can't blame Tommy, I had planned to go up there anyway.
We eventually reached the open part of the saddle, and headed up towards a secret landmark we had learned about from the hut book. A 38m waterfall was lurking further along the saddle, it was an impressive site hidden away past the trees.
Now being Tommy, getting a look from the side of the saddle wasn't good enough, so Tommy ditched his pack and went off on a scout to find out if there was a path to the bottom of the falls. After a slightly stressful period of waiting, Tommy reemerged with good news: it could only be reached by jumping several feet into the water, and escaped by scaling the cliffs. Sadly no-one packed in climbing gear, so we headed back to the hut.
As the sky got darker and the air got colder, we decided to start a fire and cook dinner. We decided to make a shared vegetarian pasta dinner. Now we were being incredibly responsible, I promise. That's the least the club could ask for... We boiled up the water and cooked the pasta. When we took the pasta off the fire, someone (not naming names...) decided to serve it up. I had first dibs on the pasta. Now instead of being sensible and putting the pot down on the bench, we served up in the middle of the hut. I got 6 pieces of pasta, before the server dropped the pot, and the pasta went all over the floor...
!@#$% After panicking briefly, we picked up all of the pasta, washed it as best we could, and returned it to the fire. We probably killed off all the germs in the heat, but there was an interesting crunch every now and then while eating... Best to think of it as special seasoning!
The first two hunters had claimed 2 of the 4 bunks, so 2 of us volunteered (more like forced in my case) to sleep on the floor. Now being hunters, they naturally had to get up super early. One got up at 2am, somehow not waking us up. The other two left at 5am, but unfortunately our deep sleep was not as advanced then. At least it meant that us floor folk got a class upgrade for a few hours.
After a leisurely breakfast, we decided our plans for the rest of the day. We made sure the hunters knew where we were going, as none of us were in the mood to be shot by accident. Herbert, Tommy and myself decided to go for a further wander up the ridgeline, while Alex chose to chill at the hut. We headed back the way we had come the day before, and continued past the waterfall much further up the ridgeline. We plotted taking a long loop back to the hut, but decided we didn't want to be late and worry Alex. Instead, we took a brief Whittaker's break and returned the way we came.
Getting back to the hut, we had a quick bite to eat before posing for a stressfree group photo. See if you can spot any specific college product placement (I have no clue?). We then headed off just after 12:30pm back towards the carpark.
I did not enforce waltzing on the way back either. We strolled leisurely as we went. Tommy went for a swim, we clambered up and down some dodgy ropes, and we encountered some gross animal remains lying by the river. Reaching the car just after 2pm, we headed back to Welly in a good mood. The weather had held up, with a bit of sun a welcome change from the previous day of overcast.
Shortly after leaving the carpark, we mused over a cute grass mower trimming the side of the road. They clearly weren't clearning up a property, but just a random section of road. Quietly appreciating their hard work to neaten the middle of nowhere, we edged into Featherston, departing before we had truly arrived.
We enjoyed some more classical music over the radio, a reminder of what could have been if we had been more enthusiastic about waltzing the entire way to Waiorongomai hut. An alternate reality where we were linked hand in hand, blissfully dancing the day away. What would've, could've, and maybe should've been. Instead, we went for a long and slightly painful bush bash, interspersed with much talk about meat. Oh well, there's always next time...