By Nick Jones, 26 February 2021
This tramp was organized as a result of people shitting in bushes.
Its aim was to stop people shitting in bushes and start shitting in holes.
This was achieved and people shat in holes instead of bushes.
A trio of shovel-baring, sleepy-eyed musketeers set off into the wilderness with their sights set on Sayers hut. The first was Mariano, the second Amon, and the third Nick. Possums were seen, kōura were watched and yarns were had. However, all did not go as smoothly as the calm and clear night suggested, suddenly the trio were stopped in their tracks after entering Tortara flats. Alarm bells rang as their torches brushed over the huge red eyes of what appeared to be a wolf. It circled the trio in the tall grass until it was out of sight, shovels were gripped and then released as the wolf appeared through the bushes with a smile and wagging tail. It turned out to be a hunter's dog who had gone walkabouts. the trek continued uneventfully arriving at Sayers hut to find two hunters who'd managed to eat through a box of beers and half a bottle of whiskey. The pair were nice enough, appearing very dusty in the morning as the trio debated when to leave to dig the shitters. shitter digging began at 9:00 AM, competed by 10:30, and enjoyed by 11:00 with an indulging swim in the river. A paced walkout was appreciated alongside meeting Mariano's Mother and Father halfway. The rest of the trip was rather exciting passing through NZ's only Booktown Featherston, getting carsick on the Remitaka hill and arriving back in the windiest city on earth.
