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How not 2 climb a mountain

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Archive All reports 2025 (43 reports)2024 (68 reports)2023 (53 reports)2022 (51 reports)2021 (9 reports)2020 (1 reports)2019 (17 reports)2014 (6 reports)2013 (6 reports)2012 (12 reports)2011 (13 reports)2010 (16 reports)2009 (26 reports)2008 (16 reports)2007 (22 reports)2006 (7 reports)1996 (1 reports)1941 (1 reports)1921 (1 reports) Back to home

By Tommy Thomson, 08 July 2025

So Lewis wanted to climb Mt Davie, because it was named after his grandfather or something, and we had a day of fine weather, and the avalanche forecast was low, so we set off up the mighty Waimakariri on very little sleep, past the adorable Anti Crow Hut, to the cavernous Carrington hut(seriously, this place is enormous, 36 bunks, it just keeps going). Alpine start of 4:30am out the door because that’s what you do to climb a mountain right, and we stumble up the river, and we fucking get lost and go up the wrong creek. Damn it, there’s not supposed to be a giant waterfall there. But we’ve come this far, and there’s another route up from here that’s also grade 2 so lets just do that one and go over the top. With our 5 day packs on because that's what you do right? And it’s dark and we have no idea where we’re going. So we stumble up a steep gully of choss, and it keeps getting steeper and steeper, and the rocks are covered in ice, hooray. And we’ve got these fucking 5 day packs on so every step takes the entirety of my strength and leaves me completely exhausted, but somehow find the energy for another step, this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. And somehow we don't get hit by anything from above. Then it gets even steeper, and now we’re climbing a tower of choss, and trying to haul them up with paracord, but we can’t because they weigh a fucking ton, so I pass them to Lewis and try to avoid any rocks he sends down, and oh fuck I don’t like this climb it’s very steep and if I fell I’d probably die, but it’s going to be much harder to go back down because we don’t have a rope, so I can’t think about that and must just focus on my hands and feet. 

 

And then it’s fine, we’ve reached the snow slopes, and while it’s still steep in places at least there’s something to stick to, and I can see how this might be enjoyable if I didn’t have a 5 day pack on and my legs worked properly. And we’re at the top, and down the other side, which is so much easier, and we setup a beautiful camp at Harman Pass, and then have a nice tramp through the rain and the cloud past the hotpools at Julia Hut(very hot), and out Hunts Creek and it’s pleasant and all but I’m still not properly in my body. Maybe it’s trauma. Don’t go mountaineering kids, it’s not worth it. A meth or crack addiction is much safer. 

 

Slightly over a month later, I was back in Arthurs Pass, back on the choss, mountaineering on the NZAC intermediate course.

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