By Jack Goodeve, 12 June 2026
One afternoon I sat thinking:
‘Jack, do you remember last year when a trip was run to Mangatutu Hotpools in the Kaweka Ranges.’
‘Funny you should say that Jack – I was also just thinking that’
Would it not be a great idea to escort a party of punters to these hotpools!?”
‘Why yes Jack! Such a good idea!’
‘Well, it’s good that we are in agreement Jack! We shall set about planning such an escape from the mundanity of varsity life”
Fast forward to June 19th, there we are, the mighty Hunter Carpark where many a great group of punters has set off from. We were a party of 14 punters, each one of us ready to brave the gentle and meandering Te Puia track, but not before surmounting the 6 hour drive from Wellington, through Levin, Palmerston North, and then following State Highway 2 through Dannevirke, and the finally onto some backroads out the back of Napier whose name I’ve forgotten already. Perhaps the brain eating amoebas have gotten to me already - regardless of that, all 14 punters managed to make it to the Road end with only minor vehicular carnage.
The car I drove up in – the mighty Mazda Demio, or as we fondly called her ‘Micky’ well she managed to make it up with only one car damaged (thankfully not Micky). But we managed to make it to the roadend.
But let me set the stage – there we are, 14 punters strong. Its dark, we see the night sky covered in so many stars, so bright and beautiful, you could reach out and grab one of these jewels of the night. This is one of those moments that stirs within you a primal feeling that you are gazing at the same sky as your ancestors. It feels as if you’re existing in one of those memories from a time when the world still felt young. As if those lines of code in our genetic programming from a primordial time are awakened and we feel those feeling of ancient man. We made camp, pitching our tents and getting dinner prepared. Then one by one, we all disappeared into the warmth of Mangatutu hot pools. An escape from the persistent cold that pervaded that evening. We sat and enjoyed the beautiful stars. Slowly becoming a human soup in those mineral hot springs. After we had been simmered for long enough, we each got out one by one making our way back to our tents.
As we arose there was immense faff. I, Mia, Micheal, Seanna, Caite, and Grace all took our sweet time at getting ourselves out of our cozy tents and sleeping bags. While the others lead by Cella and Imogen had already gotten themselves organised enough to find time for a morning dip in the hot pools. From there we set off along Te Puia track following the Mohaka River to Te Puia Lodge. The track up to there was gentle and very well cut, there were amazing views of the jagged cliffs that arose out of Mohaka River like the teeth of a great Taniwha. Te Puia Lodge itself was a very nice lodge; it was quite a nice hut would recommend staying. But from there we meandered to Mangatainoka Hot Springs which sat beside a nice campsite.
We opted to set camp up before we got into the hot springs, this resulted in numerous tent cities popping up across the campsite. Anyways from there we moved to make a nice fire and cook dinner – one consisting of lentils, Peppa pig pasta, and a couple flavoured and unflavoured cans of tomatoes. Alongside that delectable feast, we had marshmallows and Jaffa thins for dessert. A truly sumptuous feast.
Then Caitie, the proud owner of a delish bag of scroggin walked back to her tent set up to grab some snacks and would discover a very brave possum perched atop her bag eating all her scroggin. These heathenous contemptuous utterly irredeemable and God fucking awful possums would be an ongoing trend. There was a gang of these little shits out to get us all. One we nick-named ginger-pants cunt, because it looked like he had ginger pants – and he was also a cunt. I would chase this little shit up a tree, and for 30 odd minutes I was positioned below it like a mad man. Shaking this tree and screaming like a banshee, trying to invoke my Celtic Warrior roots to scare this little fuck down. Unfortunately for me, this marsupial menace remained perched up there, away from my fury. Finally, I had lost my will to fight this fuck, so I conceded, but not before lobbing as many bits of rock or particularly heavy looking sticks at him, unfortunately to no avail.
Deciding I could use my time better, I and the group of punters who had watched me in a mixture of horror and concern harass this possum for longer than was really useful decided that we should use these hot pools that we had walked not that long for. So, time for another stint in this brain eating amoeba infested waters. But this time we would not be the only ones there. We would be joined by two blokes who had trail ran in. They carried many sweet treats and all my friends who had been sitting in this hot pool with me opted that brandy snaps and whipped cream were better than my conversation – I don’t blame them.
Eventually I too would join and strike up conversation with one of the members of this trail running duo, Lukas. An airplane pilot, one whom a member of our group was particularly interested in. Although I cannot blame them, anyone who carries in brandy snaps and whipped cream is my sort of person.
But these hot pools at Mangatainoka were particularly good, they were much deeper and allowed the water to be up to our shoulders. We sat, chatted, and generally had a merry ole time becoming another human soup. Occasionally for a tolerance break, we would dash into the nearby Mohaka to cool off in the spring feed river.
But after ample time passed we all decided to head to bed, and one by one we drifted off. So as Grace and I headed back to our tent saw something that will stay with me for a long time, Ginger-pants Cunt perched atop Grace’s pack eating her sandwiches. So being the staunch possum racist I am, I grabbed a rock and threw it straight at its head – to little effect. This rock bounced off its head with a reverbing TINK and this little shit cocked its head at me and cursed me in its shitty language and scurried off. This set me off; I would spend the next half hour chasing possums around my campsite like a feral creature. A few glancing blows and almost stomping a possums lights out, I was done. I retired to my tent to sleep the night away.
When the morning came we all arose, had breakfast and some even had the chance to use the hot pools. Then we all set off back to the road end for our long commute home.
I recommend not stopping in Palmy, its not worth it..
Anyways it was a lovely trip but I recommend taking a bat to play possum cricket.