By Max Honiss, 23 July 2026
Santa didn't bring a bag of presents this year... he brought a bag of meat....
Last year's midwinter Christmas brought about the fabulous idea of a meat bag, stemming from my below-average baking skills and my above-average love of meat and fire (I have not evolved very far from my caveman ancestors it would seem) I decided I would slice and dice some meat, lather it up with spices, sauces, and everything nice and whack that shit in a bag, seal it up, and call it a job well done.
Once again, 2026's Midwinter Christmas rolled around. Being a simple fella, I decided to stick with what I know (if it ain't broke, don't fix it) and recreate the famous meatbag, but this year I actually documented the steps (as last year's exact recipe is lost to time).
So follow this very rough, meaty, loosely put together recipe and you too can get in touch with your caveman roots and indulge in the communal meat bag on your next trip! -
Step 1: MEAT - go buy yourself some juicy meat.
I normally go for Beef schnitzel (cut into strips at home)
Store-bought beef chunks
OR
A WHOLE TOP SIDE ROAST -
Once a mega hunk of meat is acquired, take a knife and chop a big chunk of meat into smaller chunks of meat (sizeable bits to skewer and cook fastish over fire). Idk measurements, but like marshmellow size as the way you cook it is akin to a marshmellow ig?
-Once you have your chunks or strips of beef, whack em in a bowl.
Step 2: LATHER THAT BABY UP
-Drizzle in olive oil
-RUB IT DOWNNN
Step 3: Seasoning
I had 2 bags this year, too, which required varying levels of difficulty
EASY:
Take a store-bought beef rub and sprinkle over meat, coat all chunks/strips in it, and voila (I also added a dash of Worcestershire sauce)
MEDIUM (also easy):
-Worcestershire sauce - Good drizzle all over to marinate it (eyeball)
-Crushed ginger - 1 big tablespoon? (also eyeball)
-Onion powder - decent sprinkle
-Paprika - decent sprinkle -
Step 4: Bag it (Duh. It's a meat bag).
I use a vacuum pack for my meat bags, but you can always just chuck it in a ziplock bag, or container (meat container?). Whack it in the fridge or freezer and grab it on your way out the door to your next tramp and campfire!
Cooking instructions: As described, like marshmallow - take a sharpened stick, stab a chunk or 2, or 3 (piggy) and cook over a fire until desired state of suspico undercooked...